Such a long time ...

"A purpose of human life, no matter who is controlling it, is to love whoever is around to be loved." - Kurt Vonnegut, Sirens of Titan -

But then there are other moments where I wonder if maybe I'm not falling too fast, too deep, into a moment that won't last ... a fleeting glimpse of something better ... a flicker of happiness ... Then I have to say, so be it, perhaps that's enough ... perhaps that's all anyone can truly ask for, to be truly happy if only for a moment.

"All time is all time. It does not change. It does not lend itself to warnings or explanations. It simply is. Take it moment by moment ..." - Kurt Vonnegut, Slaughterhouse V -

Traditional Wedding

Returned from Lagos yesterday. 9 hours by bus made for a very sore body. Attended a friend's wedding, went to a show, got beat up by waves at the beach, etc. Had a great time, but I'm glad to be back. And now, a bit about the trip ...

My journey began on Wednesday of last week. I boarded a bus bound for Lagos at 8am. The bus was big and air conditioned (a la Greyhound or Voyageur), which was great, but I was unsettled by the 10 minute long prayer session (including out of tune singing) which was hollered through the bus' PA system. O' the trials and tribulations of living in an overwhelmingly evangelical Christian environment... I spent the bulk of the trip listening to mp3s and lapsing in and out of consciousness. By the time I arrived, I was feeling quite drained and glad to be free of the bus. I took a cab to Ikoyi, took a shower at L's, made some dinner, watched a movie (can't even remember which one), and went to bed. The next day, L, R and I attended the first wedding ceremony ...

The Traditional Wedding (Thursday, April 27)

Thursday was the 'engagement ceremony', or traditional wedding. I attended with a couple of friends from the Canadian Deputy High Commission in Lagos. We were the first to arrive, at noon. The festivities started at around 1:30pm. By 2pm the hall was filled with chatter and dozens of people dressed in colourful Yoruba attire. The tailor that I had asked to sew a blouse and skirt, Nigerian style, somehow managed to forget to accomplish the work so I was stuck wearing a regular skirt and top. Additionally unfortunate was the fact that I didn't have fully charged batteries for my camera, an oversight that I regret very deeply. Nevertheless, a good time was had.

The bride and groom's families entered and greeted each other extensively. Enthusiastic and skilled drummers accompanied their entrance. Introductions and prayers followed. Although the MC and other speakers did take care to convey information in English, a significant amount of the proceedings were in Yoruba. Depsite the fact that I didn't understand everything that was going on, it was by no means boring. After quite some time had passed, I asked Abimbola's sister if I could see the bride. She took me to a room on the other side of the building where my friend sat, decked out in fine clothing and looking more beautiful than I had ever seen her look before (which is saying something since she is a gorgeous woman). She wore a dark blue wrappa (wrap around skirt) with a matching shawl and headtie and a loose light blue top. The fabric was beautiful, but very heavy. We both squealed with delight when we saw each other. After a while, we were joined by her bridesmaids. I ended up going back to the hall to catch up on the ceremonies.

I had missed the groom's entrance; however, I was glad to see that he was still in the process of prostrating himself before the bride's family. It was a sight to see, to be sure - Akin and his best men all lying face down on the floor at the feet of Abimbola's parents. Eventually, Akin and his friends were permitted to stand up and he was welcomed with open arms by Abimbola's parents. Next, he was greeted with warm embraces by his own parents. Eventually, Abimbola made her entrance, surrounded by her friends. A shawl draped over her head, she stepped into the room to the beat of the drummers. It was exciting, mesmerizing, and moving. She was welcomed by her parents and by Akin's.

Throughout the rest of the day/evening, musicians played, drummers drummed, and people danced. Friends and family members sprayed the married couple with money, crates of pop/water and piles of yams and plantains were divided into three parts and distributed to the families, and food was served and consumed with delight. Relatives and the married couple marvelled as I mimed the dance movements of the women in attendance. By the end of the night I had grown very tired and accepted a ride home from one of the best men. In short, a great day. I only wish that my camera had been functional ... More later

Hotel California

On a beach in Lagos, beneath a starlit sky, a Nigerian man in his late 40s sings and plays his guitar ...

On a dark desert highway, cool wind in my hair
Warm smell of colitas, rising up through the air
Up ahead in the distance, I saw shimmering light
My head grew heavy and my sight grew dim
I had to stop for the night
There she stood in the doorway;
I heard the mission bell
And I was thinking to myself,
'This could be Heaven or this could be Hell'
Then she lit up a candle and she showed me the way
There were voices down the corridor,
I thought I heard them say...

Welcome to the Hotel California
Such a lovely place (Such a lovely place)
Such a lovely face
Plenty of room at the Hotel California
Any time of year (Any time of year)
You can find it here

Her mind is Tiffany-twisted, she got the Mercedes Benz
She got a lot of pretty, pretty boys she calls friends
How they dance in the courtyard, sweet summer sweat.
Some dance to remember, some dance to forget

So I called up the Captain,
'Please bring me my wine'
He said, 'We haven't had that spirit here since nineteen sixty nine'
And still those voices are calling from far away,
Wake you up in the middle of the night
Just to hear them say...

Welcome to the Hotel California
Such a lovely place (Such a lovely place)
Such a lovely face
They livin' it up at the Hotel California
What a nice surprise (what a nice suprise)
Bring your alibis

Mirrors on the ceiling,
The pink champagne on ice
And she said 'We are all just prisoners here, of our own device'
And in the master's chambers,
They gathered for the feast
They stab it with their steely knives,
But they just can't kill the beast

Last thing I remember, I was
Running for the door
I had to find the passage back
To the place I was before
'Relax,' said the night man,
'We are programmed to receive.
You can check-out any time you like,
But you can never leave!'

On the shore.

On the shore., originally uploaded by z-girl.

C'est moi.

Security

Abuja appears to be a relatively safe place to live, as compared with other parts of the country. As well, I live amongst embassies and governor's estates, where security seems to be more tight. This being said, the security situation in other parts of the country has not been very good lately. Riots in Maiduguri last week left many dead (reports vary, but a Reuters article I read claimed that 28 people died in the riots) and numerous churches were vandalized/burned. Two of our partner organizations are located in Maiduguri. Yesterday we received word that the home of the Authorized Official of one organization was vandalized and that he and his family had fled in fear for their lives. Reports have claimed that the riots were about the 'cartoon controversy' (as CNN frequently refers to the outrage of many people over the caricatures of the Prophet Mohammed). This explanation is far too simplistic with respect to recent events in Nigeria. Whereas many Muslims and Christians are friends, family, and colleagues, there are also ever present tensions between these religious groups. While I do think that religious tensions play a role in the recent riots, a closer examination of the issues would appear to indicate that political issues also play a central role in the conflict.

From Reuters:

"Many Nigerians believe President Olusegun Obasanjo and some state governors will try to stay in office for a third term after eight years in power. The prospect angers those who want their own ethnic or regional blocs to have their turn."

Or, in the words of my friend in Lagos ...

"The information I'm getting is that 'religious tensions' are just a thin facade for political maneouvering. In the north where you have parallel authority schemes run by governors and emirs or shahs, the two groups are often battling for ultimate control. Whispers have it that each group's respective supporters use 'events' like these (cartoon outcry) as platforms for violence that is really politically or power motivated ... So many of the perps of violence ... are bought off and pitted against one another as political thugs, motivated by money and to secure control for their boss, who is also motivated by money to the extent that he'll put in an order for indiscriminate slaughter of his constituents to make it ... But this is how 'democracy' works in Nigeria, and the Western powers tacitly condone it by offering Nigeria $18billion in debt relief and then gasping in horror when the foreign press dish up stories of Islam gone awry, at the expense of 'dozens of charred, smouldering bodies'. Yay Team Obasanjo, and President Bush, and the fight against terror, and the spoils of oil. Wonder why never hear the same terminology, or even anything at all, when a pipeline explodes beneath a riverine community in the Niger Delta and litters dozens of charred, smouldering bodies across people's backyards?"

Add to the mixture frustrations related to persistent poverty and unemployment, and pervasive corruption at both the governmental and societal levels, and you've got yourself a recipe for trouble. Peace and unity in Nigeria are fragile concepts which require support in terms of good governance, actual democratic practices, effective poverty eradication programs, successful employment strategies, transparency, greater promotion and protection of human rights, respect for the rule of law, and so on and so forth. There's still a long long way to go.

Na'gaji

I haven't bothered to update this blog in quite some time. I've been using the other and my trusty spiral notebook to keep track of goings-on.

January was a busy month, with a big 2-day meeting taking place Jan. 24-25. Everyone was running around like a chicken with its head cut off, including yours truly (coo-coo-ka-cha!). Subsequently, everyone suffered from some form or other of burn-out. I've been feeling somewhat ill for over a week now. Should probably visit a doctor at some point.

Speaking of coming down with something, many people are suffering from a bad case of Nation's Cup fever. Nigeria's team, the Super Eagles, have moved forward and are on the way to the semi-finals. One of my close friends was pining over a Super Eagles' jersey the other day, but it was too costly. When it was suggested by a stranger that the oyinbo (meaning me) could buy it for him, I haughtily protested "I no ajebota" (pidgin English term meaning "one used to butter", that is, "a rich spoiled kid"). Everyone laughed. My friend's eyes nearly popped out of his head, "where did you learn that word?" I smiled and said "oh, I have my ways". That online Pidgin English dictionary really does come in handy some times :)

Anyhow, that's about all I've got to say for now. I'm tired. Until next time ....

Gurara Falls

Gurara Falls, originally uploaded by z-girl.

Just got back from a two day 'vacation', courtesy of The Sallah/Eid-el-Kabir. This Muslim festival pays tribute to the Prophet Ibrahim's willingness to sacrifice his only son, Ishmael, to Allah. The story states that Allah rewarded Ibrahim's faithfulness by providing him with a ram to sacrifice in place of the boy. Sounds a lot like another story I heard once. As disturbed as I was by a festival which involves the mass slaughter of rams, having the day off work made for a great adventure.

I was invited to go with some friends to Gurara Falls, approximately an hour and a half outside Abuja. We swam, jumped off a rock, sat under the falls, ate, and generally basked in the glow of nature. In short, a wonderful day. I hope to visit this beautiful place again before I leave Nigeria.

The Pirate Captain

The Pirate Captain, originally uploaded by z-girl.

NYE at the apartment. In an effort to ward off the blues, I decorated my apartment and got dressed up as a Pirate. I've since taken down the curtains, though my net remains draped over my bed. Arrr!

An Unfortunate Series of Events

A post from January 05, 2006 -

Lazy today. Stopped by the Canadian High Commission to register to vote this morning. I have the sneaking suspicion that Election's Canada will take issue with one of my answers as I was uncertain as to how to fill it out and my friend couldn't figure it out either. Got the office at around 10am and had to scramble to finish a report that I was assigned yesterday. Unfortunately, all hell broke loose yesterday and I wasn't able to complete it until around noon today. So it goes. Was a challenging assignment, but I welcomed the opportunity to finally put my skills to some creative use. My boss had asked me to dxraft a letter to the National Democratic Institute for International Affairs (NDI) that we would use to request funding for our projects. In order to do so, I had to demonstrate that we promote democracy, in one way or another, through our work. Having finished that, I'm procrastinating on getting back to the nightmarish editting assignments I was assigned during the holidays. I realize that the documents had to be written quickly, but the grammar and sentence structure in some places is positively horrendous! I swear a lot in French whilst making my corrections as no one else here, aside from yours truly, understands French. So that, in a nutshell, is the work situation.

In other news, life here over the past couple of days has been ... hm, how do I put this ... a bit fucked up. The other night I was sitting outside talking to P and, the next thing I knew, all hell was breaking loose. One of the female members of the staff got into a HUGE fight with the manager, in which she was apparently saying some pretty nasty things and challenging him to a fight (or so P tells me, as I never actually went inside), which escalated to the point of P restraining the manager. According to what I was eventually able to find out from P and another staff member, the woman in question had been sitting in the (empty) restaurant watching thereby violating the rules which state that staff are not allowed to watch TV at work. The manager caught her watching TV and told her to "go back inside" (she was on kitchen duty). She refused. He told her again. She refused. He came and got P who pleaded with her to go back inside. She refused. According to what I was told, she was being quite verbally abusive. I've since gathered that the manager can be quite authoritarian and that this has lead to the formation of resentment among some members of the staff. Honestly, they earn a pittance.

Anyhow, despite the fact that she was breaking the rules and being verbally abusive, the manager's response was completely out of line. He had come out of the restaurant and went back into his living quarters. I thought it was 'over'. Turns out I was wrong. The manager returned a belt in his hand!!! My memory's grown a bit fuzzy, but I vaguely recall saying something like "why has he got a belt? what does he think he's doing?" P jumped up and caught up with the manager as he was entering the restaurant, restrained him and begged him not to stop/calm down. Fortunately, P was able to get the manager to back off. I was in a complete state of shock. When I finally regained my ability to speak I said to P "now do you see what I was saying about violence against women!" or something along those lines. That very day I'd printed out a couple of articles for him to read. I've been trying to demonstrate that the attitudes that people hold about relationships between men and women (like marriage) and about women in general in male-dominated societies facilitate violations against women's human rights. Not an easy task. As much as I respect P and consider him to be a close friend, he's been socialized to believe in stereotypical gender roles and sexist notions about women and their duties toward their male partners. It makes for some pretty heated debates. We ended up getting into a discussion that almost ended in me telling him that I didn't want to speak to him anymore. Eventually I calmed down and realized how upset he was by everything that had happened. In fact, he had more cause to be upset than I did as he's been working there for some time now.

All in all, everyone was upset by what happened. I don't know how I'm ever going to speak to the manager again. Whereas I can understand him getting upset by being verbally abused by a member of his staff, that gives him absolutely no cause to become violent. P didn't approve of his behaviour either, but seemed a bit more willing to excuse his reaction. That is, P kept telling me that the woman refused each time to move and then he asked me what the manager was supposed to do. I said "well, if she was breaking the rules, then he should suspend her from work or fire her, not go grab his belt!" P kept asking me "what if she still wouldn't leave?" I got rather annoyed and said "I don't know, call the police and have her removed?" It was rather aggravating.

Anyhow, that was the other night. Yesterday more madness followed, with my boss's wife freaking out on him, breaking their car window, and yelling at my co-worker. I was oblivious to what was going on (outside) until my co-worker came into the office, called her husband, and started crying on the phone. It took me forever to find out what was going on. For a while I was convinced someone had died. My co-worker isn't the type of person to break down easily, so I was quite worried. To make a long story short, no one died but my boss's wife may have some anger management issues to cope with. Maybe she had good reasons for being mad at my boss, I don't know, but there was absolutely no reason for her to take it out on my co-worker. It made for a pretty crazy end to a crappy, sleep deprived day at work. Fortunately, things have improved since and I finished off the day at a friend's place sipping liqueurs and eating chocolates. Would that every day would end in this manner ...

All righty, I ought to actually do some work before I take off. Until next time, my pretties!

Belated Posts

Updating two blogs can get a bit tricky, so I've been posting on LJ fairly exclusively. As such, I've opted for cutting and pasting in an effort to keep this one up to speed. Then again, I'm convinced almost no one* reads this blog anyways so ... Anyho, here's a belated post for the new year.

*[To those who do read it, don't think that I don't appreciate and value your interest. I do! Miss you all more than you know.]

New Year's Eve Adventures	[03 Jan 2006|10:14am]
So, after much fretting, worrying, and sulking, NYE turned out to be quite the fun night after all. I decorated my apartment, as best I could, with a pirate theme in mind. I stretched my laundry line from one side of my apartment to the other and draped all of my sarongs from the line. I was also able to attach my mosquito net to the line, which has made my sleeping area much more aesthetically pleasing. Once I'd managed to make the room vaguely pirate ship-y, I dressed up in pseudo pirate attire. I will make an effort to post pictures in the coming week. Unfortunately, after all of this work, it appeared as if no one was going to show up. After getting quite tippy and hanging out with the staff, I decided to call one of the people I'd invited over. He was surprised when I told him that no one had shown up and that I was getting drunk alone. He told me to come over right away. I made my way to the ICRC (Intl Committee of the Red Cross) and met up with 'the gang', most of which I was meeting for the first time. Not long after I arrived, we were off to Millenium Park. We parked and walked to the fountain where there was a stage set up and at least a few hundred, if not more, NYE revellers (men, women, and children). We stayed for the countdown and the fireworks, and then headed out for 'the club'. The first club that we went to was dead and the music was not that great. I went through the DJ's entire CD collection in an effort to make a request, but couldn't find anything that I wanted to hear. Nevertheless, I was thrilled to have the opportunity to 'shake my groove thing'. After a while, we decided to go check out a night club at the Hilton. It was packed! We all danced until we could dance no more. I was there until at least 3am. I ended up crashing at the Red Cross and woke up the next afternoon with a hangover. After popping some aspirin and guzzling down copious amounts of water, I went with the ladies to the Hilton. They swam and I lounged by the pool. We'd come in the side entrance, thereby avoiding the requisite fees for non-members. Eventually, the heat and hunger started to get to me. Having spent most of what little money I'd brought with me the night before, I had just enough money to get myself home. I thanked my new friends for a great evening, told them to give me a call later if they wanted to hang out, and was on my way. I got home, had some lunch, and crawled into bed for a couple of hours. In short, I had a spectacular time. It was great to finally have a chance to get out and enjoy myself. They are a fun lot. Hope to see them again some time soon. Hope everyone else had a good time as well! Happy New Year!